Not to be outdone, Beth just so happens to share her birthday week with several dear friends including Issac Fleischer, Ellie Sieburg, Steve McCarron and Andrew Glasgow. In particular, Andrew had his own birthday shindig this past Saturday at which I discovered the new gaming sensation that is apparently taking the nation by storm — Edward 40 Hands.

The core concept of this game is that each contestant completely duct-tapes their hands around 40 oz. bottles of malt liquor — one per hand. By the original rules, the first player to finish both of their 40s is then declared the winner. But of course, we couldn't leave things well enough alone. Forgetting that we were gathered to celebrate Andrew's birthday, we spent the entire evening expanding upon our own variation of the game:

1) One or both bottles of malt liquor can be substituted for beer as long as the meet the 40 oz. requirement.

2) Individuals are responsible for their own bathroom needs and, should they require removal of any bottles from their person for any reason, are subject to immediate disqualification.

3) Upon disqualification, participants must immediately record a video declaring their age, their collegiate alma mater, their SAT scores, their net annual income and they must declare themselves to be "Edward Failure Hands." Said videos will then be posted to You Tube for enjoyment at large.

4) All duct-tapings, rules and disqualifications will be observed by a pre-approved judge (most likely Beth).

It was then determined that a draft constitution for the Republic of Edward 40 Hands would be drawn up and, God willing, would be ratified by all parties in time for an October inaugural event.

Nothing like a bunch of 30 year-olds acting like a bunch of 18 year-olds.